I've had a really rough, but important, three days.

Sunday I went to visit Ola in the hospital. He was in there, asleep, with Mama D. As soon as I came in she lit up and said "Emily!" and gave me a big hug. She was so anxious to talk about what had happened, and was happy to see the sandwich I brought her.

Ola's face is pretty messed up. He has a puncture wound in his right cheek that goes up to his eye. He has some bones broken on the left of his face. They might have to do surgery on his eye. BUT, he's alive, and he doesn't have any internal injuries (praise God), and he doesn't have any broken bones from the neck down.

I left for my staff retreat Monday morning, after waiting in line to get my car inspected (I couldn't get it done - the line was too long....I'm going tomorrow). The retreat was intense - lots of praying, and lots of honesty. Sometimes honesty is hard to take from those who you are closest to, and these people - being my roommates and co-workers - are definately close to me. Our boss confronted us with the tension that he sensed between us, and the fact that we were more caught up in holding grudges and being right than we were in joining together as a body and praying for us and the children we work with. My initial reaction was defensive. The reason for that, however, is that I was incredibly guilty of what he was speaking about. I ended up confessing in corporate prayer that I was struggling with cynicism and pride, and afterwards I felt so much better. It allowed me to be honest about what was troubling me, and let it go. I layed it down at the feet of Christ and have felt lighter ever since.

I arrived home today to a number of messages having to do with my other job, which involves working at a church. They were all negative in tone - something was wrong with what I had done, I hadn't done enough, I had stuck my nose in where it didn't belong. I was exhausted and, again, defensive. I had to pray, and not react immediately by writing accusatory emails.

I feel better now, but still completley drained. There's just alot on my plate right now. I want to be good at all my jobs, as well as be a good friend, daughter, aunt, neighbor, godmother, sister, roommate, coworker, etc. I'm going through a period of figuring out how to juggle all these rolls, and it is challenging to say the least.

But again, I have to close by acknowledging the myriad of blessings that God has given me. I can't even begin to name them all, but I can list a few that have been especially important to me. I have, first of all, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I didn't have that a short while ago, and it makes all the difference in the world. I also have about the best family anyone can ask for, and an amazing relationship with my mom, dad, brother, and sister-in-law. What's more, I have incredible friends, who keep me accountable and love me despite my many flaws. One can't ask for more than this, but I have more: I have the opportunity to work with beautiful children who love me, and I do this in the company of other people who inspire me daily. I also have been given the gift of being integrally involved in a real neighborhood, and this has been an enormous blessing.

So God is good, and I need to meditate on this when I feel overwhelmed like I have lately. And I ALWAYS need to remember the following:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

Amen, and goodnight.