Learning

I was eating dinner tonight with my roommates when we heard the doorbell ring. My first thought was "not again". I knew it would be for me (as our neighbors have been ringing our doorbell quite often), and I went to answer it begrudgingly. When I opened it, four smiling faces looked up at me and said "Hi Miss Emily!". They wanted to tell me all about their day at school, and how one of them had gotten a new pair of Hillies (the roller-skate shoes), and how they had all finished their homework.

I realized that I am too protective of my time. I've always been the type of person who has sought out time alone - to read, watch movies, write, etc. I've always considered it necessary - something that I need in order to stay sane the rest of the time. The problem is, however, that my initial reaction to anyone intruding on "me time" is to be annoyed. I feel like they are intruding on MY space, taking up MY time.

The truth is, I am blessed to have these kids in my life. They know me and trust me and believe that I will be around for them if they need to talk, or if they just want to share about their day. What's more, they seem to love me. When I answered the door, two of them immediately gave me a hug - as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

I need to be more generous with my time, and less protective of it. I think I need to reconsider my overall view of life. It is not all about me...it is about my relationships. The relationships are what are going to give my life meaning - not my time with myself.

I'm glad the kids rang my doorbell tonight. It was good for me to consider how much I've bought into the individualism of our culture. My life is not just mine. My life affects others - and I need to make sure it does so in a positive way.

As always, Jesus should be the model that I look to for guidance. His life was the perfect balance of relationships and alone time. It's interesting to me that His alone time was spent preparing himself to be as effective as he could in the relationships he formed. His whole life was devoted to relationships - whether they be with God, His Father, or the people around him. He did not tell people to go away when they came to find him, but welcomed them in, and genuinely loved them.

I also need to remember that the God I worship is, Himself, relational. The Trinity is forever relating, one to another.... a constantly loving triad. I do not worship a God who exists in solitude, but one who is forever relating, both to Himself and to His people.

I'm not usually this theological. Bear with me.