I didn't think I was going to go out tonight. The idea of trick-or-treating in Anacostia kind of turned me off. But then I looked out my back window and saw all of the neighbor kids running around in their costumes, and I had to go say hi.
I went into Mama D's house, and there were about 8 children there. Most of them had on a mask from that movie "Scream" - you know, the Munch painting guy. They looked terrifying. If I opened my door to that, I'd run scared. A couple had on less upsetting costumes. L.J., a three-year-old, was a lion, and he was adorable. Another, D.J., was a fireman.
While I was there I witnessed what I think most people would call child abuse. The mother of 3 of the children - I don't know her name, or who she is (I think she's Mama D's sister) - was angry at the kids for being over-excited. She was yelling at them - a lot of f***s, directed at 10-and-unders. Then, when one of her kids wasn't listening to her hollering of "shut the f*** up", she took him by the shoulders and slammed him to the ground. He had a mask on, so I couldn't see his expression. If this had been me at that age, however, I would have been hysterical.
They proceeded to go out the door to trick-or-treat. I went with them for a ways, but couldn't handle the abuse that was being spewed from the mouth of this woman.
What should I do in these situations? If I stand up for the child, I'm picking a fight with the mom, and I'm already the odd man out in this neighborhood. All I know to do is make friends with the kids and try to be loving towards them. Something in me tells me there has to be a different way, but I don't know what it is.
This is the hard part of living in Anacostia. It is a wonderful neighborhood, and I have fabulous neighbors. Mama D, for instance, is an incredible mom. But even she puts up with the mothers who are abusive to their children, as if it's normal and ok.
I really don't see a way for me to change any of this. I feel like as long as I'm involved in their lives, I have to take it on their terms. And their terms are pretty rough, when it comes to children. WHAT SHOULD I DO???
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2 comments:
Hey Em,
I have heard a number of people ask this very same question out loud. Is this ever a conversation you could have with Mama D? I hate the bind that this puts people in--fear of alienating people we want to serve, fear of not preventing child abuse....are there any resources at church you can consult?
Now I know why you were saying that love should be gentle! Obviously that woman is out of control... but what do you do? Well you are there- which is good- but like jeanne said... asking mamma D about it might be a good place to start.
It would be much easier if the woman would use a literal baseball bat then there would be no question of action- but when the baseball bat is in verbal form- it gets confusing.
No wonder 'M' you mentioned Wed nite cries all the time... hes probably exposed to similiar abuse.
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